Why my roommies and I will never be landlords.

Under normal circumstances I would never post two blogs in one day, but this hilarity simply could not wait until tomorrow!!

So, my roommie Beth and I both notice this morning that the toilet isn’t exactly flushing correctly. Beth had since warned my other roommie Mare to hold off on dropping any dookies until we can ask our landlord about the toilet in the morning. Well, perhaps it slipped her mind because when I got up to go pee around 8 p.m. I discovered a floater!!

Hilarity ensues as the three of us try to figure out how to plunge the toilet. We know it involves putting the plunger over the hole in the toilet, but from there, we’re essentially clueless. (Give us some credit please, we are girls)!!

So Marzy takes control of the plunger. Now, for those of you who’ve never seen her, allow me to paint a picture: Five-feet max, weighs about a buck, wearing ankle length sweatpants rolled around her waist and snow boots (remember, we’re in Boston people). So there she is, plunging away as brown water gushes onto the floor. (Gross, I know, but necessary for you to truly see how hysterical the situation is).

After seeing little to no results, Beth demonstrates her sheer genius and suggests we Google for help. So, I run to the laptop—with a handkerchief now tied around my face to mask the smell of poop sifting into the hallway—and proceed to Google: “How to unclog a toilet?” I wish you could have seen how many sites there dedicated to this subject. You would not have believed it. In fact, I suggest to conduct your own search and see for yourself. It’s actually pretty scary!!

Come to find out, the instructions aren’t telling us to do anything more than we’re already doing. Fuckin’ great, right? Marzy actually manages to get most of the water down, but we could tell it still wasn’t flushing right. Beth calls our landlord and he tells us to flush and then deliver 10 forceful plunges. So there goes Marzy, plunging with all her might. More water splashing on the floor (but at least now it smells like bleach and not shit because we had started to clean the toilet).

A valiant effort on all our parts, particularly Marzy. So at least for tonight, we’re living in a No. 2-free zone. Let’s hope we can get it fixed before we have to start resorting to pooping in the kitty box. (I would never do that, just looking for a laugh. Seriously, no seriously).