I give you this last chapter not because it was the least important of my memories from the boat, but because I was trying to go in succession. This chronicles some of my favorite memories from the last portion of the week:
Stephanie and Aaron -
So, after sitting by ourselves at dinner the first two nights on the cruise, we decided to ask the Matre D if it was possible to switch tables. I mean, we like each other and all, but there’s only so much we can take of JUST EACH OTHER.
After dinner on the second night, we went over to the Matre D, made our request and he searched through the computer to find a suitable table. He tells us to come to dinner 15 minutes late the next night and he’ll take us to our new table. FLIPPIN SWEET!!
So we get to dinner the next night and he takes us to a table with a lovely young couple sitting at it. It’s again, a huge table for just the five of us, but we didn’t care. So we pretty much bombard them with questions, tell them all our stories thus far (and they were nice enough to listen). Keep in mind, there’s now four girls and a guy at this table. Poor fella!! Didn’t get to talk much, but when he did, he was awful funny!!
Anyway, the couple is Stephanie and Aaron. They are farmers from South Dakota on vacation. They have two lovely boys and are two of the coolest people we met on the boat. I think they might have been a little afraid of us the first night, but by the end of the trip, we had become pretty tight. The last two nights we even got them out to the Club and Aaron actually danced!! Stephanie dedicated "Little Willy" to us Boston girls and we danced like freaks to a song we’d never heard. Didn’t matter, it was a blast.
At dinner, Stephanie and I realized we had a similar interest in drinking tea and decided to hit "Tea Time" on the second to last day of the cruise. We’re talking away about stuff and the lady carting around the little tarts and cookies went to put one on my plate, only to have the tini mandarin orange plop into my tea!! Poor thing!! She was so embarrassed!! Stephanie and I just laughed.
It was scary to see how much Stephanie and I had in common. (Both no-nonsense, strong, independent, but respectful ladies who work hard, but love to have a good time. She’s also a big sports fan, with a dear love for the San Francisco Giants. She and Aaron are taking the boys to see eight games in June). By the end of the trip we were saying we were separated at birth!!
On the second to last night (last formal night) we met them in the lobby and took some pictures together. The next day, we ordered a whole bunch together.
In short, I could not have been happier with the way our dinner table situation turned out. We had such a great time with Stephanie and Aaron and hope the good times keep on coming. Take care of each other, and those boys!!
Harmless Tim -
How could we forget this guy? I didn’t actually meet Tim until a few hours after Jackie and Katie had. I think they were hanging out at the pool a little later than me and bumped into this guy Tim. Later that night while listening to the band on board (by the way, they were great!! Lead singer had an unbelievable ability to mold his voice into whoever he was singing i.e. Willie Nelson, Elvis, Beatles, etc. He was great), Tim came over to us and started gabbing about something. He introduced himself to me while bopping to the music and said the following:
"If you girls are interested in dancing, I’d love to dance with you. But I’m harmless. I really love to dance, but I’m harmless. There’s nothing more I like to do but dance and I love having a partner. But I’m harmless, etc."
The guy must have repeated "I’m harmless" like 50 times, which begged the question in my mind: Why would anyone have to repeatedly proclaim he was harmless if he was in fact, harmless? Food for thought people.
Of course, we politely decline his first offer and say we’ll come looking for him if we get the urge. Never did.
Later that week, Katie and I see the now-dubbed "Harmless Tim" at Medusa’s (the club) sitting with a group of men and women. After about 15 minutes, Harmless Tim heard a song that struck his fancy and he leapt up, put out his hand to one of the women at the table, and headed to the dance floor.
As Harmless Tim starts to cut a rug, our mouths drop as we see just how freakin’ good a dancer this guy is. He was bopping around that floor like he owned it, leading his lady every step of the way. I mean, he’s swinging her this way, twirling her that way. It was amazing!! We still didn’t want to dance with him…but not because we were still creeped out, but because he was too darn good!!
Later in the week, he boogied on down at the "Hairy-man Contest" at the pool. The judges liked his moves, but I guess he just wasn’t hairy enough. Next time, Harmless Tim. Next time.
Jenny and Tom -
So, being among the youngest people on the boat all week, we got our fair share of attention. Some of it was good, some bad, some welcomed, some unwelcomed. I think many of the elder people on the boat just couldn’t handle us. It’s not that we were doing anything wrong. We were just cute, loud, drunk girls who sauntered in and out of rooms and got a lot of attention because of it. It was really bad sometimes. We’d sit down at a bar and people would get up and leave. We kept asking ourselves, "Do we smell?" But we didn’t. We didn’t smell.
The problem wasn’t ours, it was theirs. As elders, they’re in a different time of their lives than us, of course, and most weren’t willing to revisit their youth by taking the time to open their mouths and talk to us, instead of snoot their noses up at us and assume we’re horrible people because we’re loud and like to drink.
That is, everyone except Jenny and Tom.
I met this lovely couple one night at the Lobby Bar after dinner when we were waiting to get into the club. I can’t quite remember how the conversation started, but before you knew it, my friends were trying to pull me away. We talked about a ton of stuff from family, the cities we live in, our friends, previous cruises, etc. Two of the nicest people I’ve ever met and they said the same about me!!
Long story short, they’re from San Francisco, which immediately prompted talk about my sister. They’ve been married more than 50 years, which prompted talks about my own grandparents. It was just so great to talk to them because I felt like I had broken through our younger vs. older encounters on the boat. Jenny and Tom actually took the time to talk to me and I think, no, I know, it was worth both our whiles.
I gave them my blog address because I told them I was going to write about them. Hopefully they didn’t get tired of scrolling through my blabber to get to the part about them. Take care Jenny and Tom. Nothing but the best to you both. Live and love.
Zsolt and Edyta -
To our fabulous waiter and waitress on board, Jackie, Katie and I thank you sincerely. Your service was impeccable, your humor a delight, and your professionalism a wonder. We will miss you…Actually, Jackie and I will miss you. Katie will miss her young, Urkranian obsession, Sergi. This baby-faced 22-year-old was our bar waiter at dinner and cocktail server at the club. Katie loved him and was never afraid to tell him. Poor thing would turn so red every time she summoned him. Too funny!!
Curtis and Co./Percy -
This is getting long, so I’m just going to finish up by saying these guys were some of the coolest we’d ever met. Curtis, his little brother Marcus, and his cousin Nathan were the epitome of cool. They were all from Miami, dressed nice, and were absolute gentlemen. We typically hung out with them every night at the club and they were a total blast. Glad we met them, although the sight of Curtis’ strange "Miami dance" still pains me. I still love him, though.
Percy was the comedian on board. We met him in the club the night before he performed because he’s a friend of DJ Shannon’s and we sat front row with Curtis, Stephanie, and Aaron for his show. He was really funny and should get his own special from HBO or something. Seriously!! No seriously.
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This concludes my memories from the boat section. The islands are to follow, starting with: St. Maarten. Hoping to have that blog for you on Thursday.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Memories from the Boat (Part Duex).
When I last left you, I was bitching about the spa treatment. I will continue my memories from the cruise with a couple of my late-night favorites.
Katie Helps Herself:
Throughout the cruise, it was not uncommon that we’d end up at the pizza bar after a night of boozing and dancing at the eternally-empty club "Medusa's Lounge" on board the Carnival Legend (Not empty because of the DJ, Shannon, who was hella-cool, but because there weren't many young, hip peeps on board. You dig?). This particular night, however, produced a truly hysterical happening.
Open 24-hours-a-day, we soon learned that the guys working the pizza buffet just didn’t like doing it. I mean, lets be honest. They’re probably dead for hours until the midnight hour hits and suddenly, they’re bombarded by drunk, hungry, stumbling, mumbling idiots…well, that and the slew of excessively obese peeps on the boat who didn’t have quite enough after breakfast, lunch, dinner, and every buffet in between!!!!! So needless to say, the cooks/servers often hung out in the kitchen, coming out only when they heard the service bell.
So, after eating a couple of slices of sausage and pepper, Katie decided she wanted one more. She approached the counter and of course, no one was there to serve her. So, rather than ring the bell, Katie decides to help herself by hoisting herself over the counter!! Upon her landing, she accidentally kicks the kitchen’s swinging door. Hearing someone coming, she ducks behind the door just as the server opens it to find no one. After he left, Katie snatched a couple more slices of pie from the glass display case and hops back over the counter. By this time, another table had decided to get in on the act by humming the theme from the Pink Panther: "DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, etc.
For the rest of the cruise, she often received shout outs in the form of "Hey, it’s the Pink Panther!" A cruise classic, I tell you!!
Julie Conquers Her Fear of Karaoke:
Those who know me best, know that I am OBSESSED with music. I have a trillion CD’s and another 5500 songs on my I-Pod. As if that wasn’t enough, I recently subscribed to Sirius Satellite Radio (mostly for Howard Stern, but the commercial-free radio is spectacular!!).
Anyway, any time Jackie and I have been out places where Karaoke is being performed, I’ve always said I was going to sing. I leaf through the book, pick out a few potentials…. And then NEVER actually go up to sing. No matter how much I had to drink, I always backed out. I would never even submit my selections. Chicken-shit, I tell you.
So after learning there would be Karaoke on the cruise I SWORE to Jackie that I would sing at least once on our journey. She was extremely skeptical, which is to be expected. But on night No. 5, I delivered on my promise.
After spending an awesome day on Barbados (the second of three ports, more on the island to follow in another blog), we discovered Karaoke being sung in the "Firebird Lounge" when we got back on the boat. Around 9ish, we stumble in and take a seat in the front of the fairly crowded venue. I scoped out a selection and was called to sing about 15 minutes later.
Keep in mind, the three of us are absolutely ham-ski!! We had drank all night on Barbados and were in just the right form to do Karaoke. I insisted the girls let me sing and they could dance. Well, I took the stage to perform—under the name Lady J, of course—and proceeded to belt out Madonna’s "Like a Virgin". As I was singing, Jackie and Katie were encouraging audience participation, practically lap-dancing people in the front row!! Remember, we’re loaded.
Well, I get through the song and was pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. I think I got a pretty good ovation and it was because I was one of the few who sang completely in tune and actually performed the song. Most of the other participants stood directly in front of the prompter and didn’t move. I was dancing, pointing, closing my eyes on high notes. Singing with utter confidence. It was truly a sight to be seen.
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I hate to leave you again, but I’m at work and actually have to rush out to do some…well, WORK!! I will try to write more over the weekend!! There’s just so much to cover!! This could seriously take a long, long, long, time…ski. (Katie was a big fan of the delayed ski, particularly when exclaiming: "What the fuck…ski".
In the mean time, check out Part 1 below, if you haven’t already. Peace-ski.
Katie Helps Herself:
Throughout the cruise, it was not uncommon that we’d end up at the pizza bar after a night of boozing and dancing at the eternally-empty club "Medusa's Lounge" on board the Carnival Legend (Not empty because of the DJ, Shannon, who was hella-cool, but because there weren't many young, hip peeps on board. You dig?). This particular night, however, produced a truly hysterical happening.
Open 24-hours-a-day, we soon learned that the guys working the pizza buffet just didn’t like doing it. I mean, lets be honest. They’re probably dead for hours until the midnight hour hits and suddenly, they’re bombarded by drunk, hungry, stumbling, mumbling idiots…well, that and the slew of excessively obese peeps on the boat who didn’t have quite enough after breakfast, lunch, dinner, and every buffet in between!!!!! So needless to say, the cooks/servers often hung out in the kitchen, coming out only when they heard the service bell.
So, after eating a couple of slices of sausage and pepper, Katie decided she wanted one more. She approached the counter and of course, no one was there to serve her. So, rather than ring the bell, Katie decides to help herself by hoisting herself over the counter!! Upon her landing, she accidentally kicks the kitchen’s swinging door. Hearing someone coming, she ducks behind the door just as the server opens it to find no one. After he left, Katie snatched a couple more slices of pie from the glass display case and hops back over the counter. By this time, another table had decided to get in on the act by humming the theme from the Pink Panther: "DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, DaDut, etc.
For the rest of the cruise, she often received shout outs in the form of "Hey, it’s the Pink Panther!" A cruise classic, I tell you!!
Julie Conquers Her Fear of Karaoke:
Those who know me best, know that I am OBSESSED with music. I have a trillion CD’s and another 5500 songs on my I-Pod. As if that wasn’t enough, I recently subscribed to Sirius Satellite Radio (mostly for Howard Stern, but the commercial-free radio is spectacular!!).
Anyway, any time Jackie and I have been out places where Karaoke is being performed, I’ve always said I was going to sing. I leaf through the book, pick out a few potentials…. And then NEVER actually go up to sing. No matter how much I had to drink, I always backed out. I would never even submit my selections. Chicken-shit, I tell you.
So after learning there would be Karaoke on the cruise I SWORE to Jackie that I would sing at least once on our journey. She was extremely skeptical, which is to be expected. But on night No. 5, I delivered on my promise.
After spending an awesome day on Barbados (the second of three ports, more on the island to follow in another blog), we discovered Karaoke being sung in the "Firebird Lounge" when we got back on the boat. Around 9ish, we stumble in and take a seat in the front of the fairly crowded venue. I scoped out a selection and was called to sing about 15 minutes later.
Keep in mind, the three of us are absolutely ham-ski!! We had drank all night on Barbados and were in just the right form to do Karaoke. I insisted the girls let me sing and they could dance. Well, I took the stage to perform—under the name Lady J, of course—and proceeded to belt out Madonna’s "Like a Virgin". As I was singing, Jackie and Katie were encouraging audience participation, practically lap-dancing people in the front row!! Remember, we’re loaded.
Well, I get through the song and was pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. I think I got a pretty good ovation and it was because I was one of the few who sang completely in tune and actually performed the song. Most of the other participants stood directly in front of the prompter and didn’t move. I was dancing, pointing, closing my eyes on high notes. Singing with utter confidence. It was truly a sight to be seen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hate to leave you again, but I’m at work and actually have to rush out to do some…well, WORK!! I will try to write more over the weekend!! There’s just so much to cover!! This could seriously take a long, long, long, time…ski. (Katie was a big fan of the delayed ski, particularly when exclaiming: "What the fuck…ski".
In the mean time, check out Part 1 below, if you haven’t already. Peace-ski.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
How to kill your liver in eight days...
…go on a cruise!! Okay, so maybe me, Jackie, and Katie didn’t drink quite that much, but our end-of-the-week bar tabs would suggest otherwise!! Endline: Me=$550/Katie=$695-ish/Jackie=$800 (well, almost). To be fair, Katie had two massages included in her bill, but the rest was booze and soda. How Jackie spent more than both of us is beyond me. She didn’t stay out the last three nights!! Makes no sense.
Needless to say, me and the girls had an absolute blast on our eight-day cruise to the Southern Caribbean on Carnival Legend. With our trip being so long, I figured I’d have to break the trip down into at least three blogs, possibly fourth. We were on the boat the longest, but also had excursion days in St. Maarten (Fun), Barbados (The BEST), and Martinique (sucked-ski). I’ll try to keep the boat blog to one, but no promises. Each of the Islands will be their own blog as well.
So without further ado, I offer you: My Favorite Memories from the Boat (Part 1)
Our new language-ski -
Not sure you caught this the first time in the previous graph, but Katie pretty much developed a new language for us. One in which we add the word "ski" to the end of virtually every word we said!! Sounds annoying, but it was actually pretty fun-ski. By week’s end, we had about 100 people on the boat and on the islands who could speak in our rare tongue-ski. It worked better on some words than others. Here’s a few examples: Damn-ski, not so good. Fuck-ski, brilliant!! Oh man am I drunk-ski, not too bad. Oh, I’m so ham-ski, far better!! Yeah, we’re retard-ski!!
Father Dave -
The first time we laid eyes on Fr. Dave, he was up on stage wearing a bikini and lipstick. No joke. But then, we knew him only as contestant Dave, a farmer from Nebraska who was competing in the Survivor Challenge on stage at the pool on Deck 9.
The reason he was dressed in a bikini (top, that is) was part of the game. The two remaining teams had to grab specific items from people sunbathing, one of them being a bikini top. The more the better. Other items included: a sarong, lipstick, straw hat, and a few other things. After the items were collected, they had to be put on!! Hilarious.
Anyway, after two people were eliminated, it was down to Dave, Mike, and Joe. Each was to give a speech about why they should be the Survivor. Going into it we were leaning towards Joe, a tall, tan, big, bald man who somewhat resembled Hulk Hogan, minus the handle-bar stache!! But we were going for Dave after hearing his speech. He took the mike and said in so many words that he thought he should be the Survivor because he did a good job, yada, yada, but then started to pretend like he was verclempt Linda Richmond-style when saying he was "just a poor farmer from Nebraska trying to make it in the world." Hilarious!!
Needless to say, Dave was the sole Survivor.
Later that night (our first formal night, second day of the cruise) we get to our dinner table and spot Dave seated at a table across the way. He was sitting next to Mike and they were both in priest suits!! You know, the black suit with the white collar. We thought to ourselves, Wow. Those guys are funny!! Dressing like priests on formal night, that’s hilarious.
Shortly thereafter, Dave comes over and we immediately shout, "Survivor Dave!! We voted for you!!" He seemed a bit surprised that we knew who he was. We then told him how funny he was and how we were leaning towards Joe before his speech. He thanked us and then I think I asked what the deal was with the priest suit. He then said he was a priest!! Seriously? We asked. Yes, seriously. Then he whips out his card and sure enough, Dave was a priest. Mike is his friend, also a priest, and encouraged him to go on the cruise!!
Couldn’t believe it and I’ll tell you why: Dave was a fairly attractive guy, who was very well-built, well-tanned, and 40 with salt-and-pepper gray hair and a goatee. And did we mention he was funny?? Doesn’t exactly scream priest!!!! We simply couldn’t believe it, but the moment he started talking about his work, we knew it was true.
We come to find out he’s the director of the St. Augustine Indian Mission in Winnebago, Nebraska. On the plot of land is a church, rectory and dormitory/school for the children of the Omaha and Winnebego tribes. The kids are taught traditional Indian culture and language, along with the a solid core of academic basics. The majority of children Fr. Dave works with are unprivileged, neglected, or homeless. In short, he’s probably the nicest, kindest person we’ve met and certainly the coolest priest I’ve ever known.
Later in the week, Katie actually went to confessed to him!! Jackie and I couldn’t quite bring ourselves to do that, but we did attend mass later that day. First time I’d been to mass in a long time!! I owe that to Fr. Dave.
Santanu-
This guy was a bartender in the Lobby on Deck 2 and the ONLY GUY WHO KNEW HOW TO MAKE A GOOD DRINK!!! (All mixed drinks were made with measured pours. For you non-bartenders out there, let me explain it in Lehman’s terms: NOT ENOUGH BOOZE). Needless to say, we befriended Santanu instantly!!
We generally visited him before dinner each night and in between visits to the club. Nice guy, always willing to offer a joke and compliment us on our appearance. Also a very hardworker behind the bar, a nice thing for three fellow liquor-pushers to see!!
The Fucking Spa -
Day one of our cruise while touring the boat, we stumbled upon the spa. Each of us had decided before the cruise that we were hoping to get a massage of some kind. Well, there was a girl outside the door offering a five-minute tour of their facilities, so we went. Stones, seaweed, clay, etc. You name it they had it. Then in the last room, we discovered the Ionitherme massage. The girl, Elizabeth, described—in a VERY thick British accent—it as a treatment that focuses mainly on eliminating cellulite from midsection on women and will help take inches off of us. Up to eight in the first treatment. That prompted "Oooooohhs" from the three of us and the other lady in our tour group. All of the massages were on sale if you signed up the first night, so Katie and I decided to do one at 8:45 p.m.
With our dinner seating at 8:15 p.m. we weren’t thrilled about it, but we did it anyway. (I had actually tried to cancel the treatment a few hours earlier, but they told me I would be charged a fee of $40!!). So, Katie and I grabbed a quick soup and salad at dinner and left poor Jackie alone with a couple from Canada (nice folks she later found out, but it was uncomfortable leaving her).
Long story short, I’m smeared with this clay stuff made of something that smelled very nice, but I couldn’t begin to remember what Elizabeth called it. Then she applied the electrodes and started zapping. OH MY GOD!!! Why did I do this to myself? I wanted to relax, not feel like I’m being electrocuted!! Zaps came every three seconds and went right into my muscles. My legs were lifted roughly three inches off the ground every time I was zapped. Elizabeth is trying to talk to me about what the treatment is doing and all I hear is "waah, blah, waah" Charlie Brown’s-teacher style.
So finally, Elizabeth turns the machine off and exclaims, "Wow!! Look at the difference!" I take a gander and I’ll tell you, I looked EXACTLY the same!! She then tries to sell me a $600, 35-day package to get rid of my cellulite!!! Can you believe this woman? She seemed really ticked off that I didn’t want to buy the products, asking me in her condescending British tone, "You don’t want to get rid of cellulite?" Yeah, lady, I do, but I should be dieting and going to a gym, not spending $600 on treatments that don’t work.
Katie was equally unimpressed and we both sulked about the waste of dough it was!! Fucking spa!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, I think that’s about all you people can take right now. I’ll write more later. Part 2 of my boat memories to follow tomorrow!!
Needless to say, me and the girls had an absolute blast on our eight-day cruise to the Southern Caribbean on Carnival Legend. With our trip being so long, I figured I’d have to break the trip down into at least three blogs, possibly fourth. We were on the boat the longest, but also had excursion days in St. Maarten (Fun), Barbados (The BEST), and Martinique (sucked-ski). I’ll try to keep the boat blog to one, but no promises. Each of the Islands will be their own blog as well.
So without further ado, I offer you: My Favorite Memories from the Boat (Part 1)
Our new language-ski -
Not sure you caught this the first time in the previous graph, but Katie pretty much developed a new language for us. One in which we add the word "ski" to the end of virtually every word we said!! Sounds annoying, but it was actually pretty fun-ski. By week’s end, we had about 100 people on the boat and on the islands who could speak in our rare tongue-ski. It worked better on some words than others. Here’s a few examples: Damn-ski, not so good. Fuck-ski, brilliant!! Oh man am I drunk-ski, not too bad. Oh, I’m so ham-ski, far better!! Yeah, we’re retard-ski!!
Father Dave -
The first time we laid eyes on Fr. Dave, he was up on stage wearing a bikini and lipstick. No joke. But then, we knew him only as contestant Dave, a farmer from Nebraska who was competing in the Survivor Challenge on stage at the pool on Deck 9.
The reason he was dressed in a bikini (top, that is) was part of the game. The two remaining teams had to grab specific items from people sunbathing, one of them being a bikini top. The more the better. Other items included: a sarong, lipstick, straw hat, and a few other things. After the items were collected, they had to be put on!! Hilarious.
Anyway, after two people were eliminated, it was down to Dave, Mike, and Joe. Each was to give a speech about why they should be the Survivor. Going into it we were leaning towards Joe, a tall, tan, big, bald man who somewhat resembled Hulk Hogan, minus the handle-bar stache!! But we were going for Dave after hearing his speech. He took the mike and said in so many words that he thought he should be the Survivor because he did a good job, yada, yada, but then started to pretend like he was verclempt Linda Richmond-style when saying he was "just a poor farmer from Nebraska trying to make it in the world." Hilarious!!
Needless to say, Dave was the sole Survivor.
Later that night (our first formal night, second day of the cruise) we get to our dinner table and spot Dave seated at a table across the way. He was sitting next to Mike and they were both in priest suits!! You know, the black suit with the white collar. We thought to ourselves, Wow. Those guys are funny!! Dressing like priests on formal night, that’s hilarious.
Shortly thereafter, Dave comes over and we immediately shout, "Survivor Dave!! We voted for you!!" He seemed a bit surprised that we knew who he was. We then told him how funny he was and how we were leaning towards Joe before his speech. He thanked us and then I think I asked what the deal was with the priest suit. He then said he was a priest!! Seriously? We asked. Yes, seriously. Then he whips out his card and sure enough, Dave was a priest. Mike is his friend, also a priest, and encouraged him to go on the cruise!!
Couldn’t believe it and I’ll tell you why: Dave was a fairly attractive guy, who was very well-built, well-tanned, and 40 with salt-and-pepper gray hair and a goatee. And did we mention he was funny?? Doesn’t exactly scream priest!!!! We simply couldn’t believe it, but the moment he started talking about his work, we knew it was true.
We come to find out he’s the director of the St. Augustine Indian Mission in Winnebago, Nebraska. On the plot of land is a church, rectory and dormitory/school for the children of the Omaha and Winnebego tribes. The kids are taught traditional Indian culture and language, along with the a solid core of academic basics. The majority of children Fr. Dave works with are unprivileged, neglected, or homeless. In short, he’s probably the nicest, kindest person we’ve met and certainly the coolest priest I’ve ever known.
Later in the week, Katie actually went to confessed to him!! Jackie and I couldn’t quite bring ourselves to do that, but we did attend mass later that day. First time I’d been to mass in a long time!! I owe that to Fr. Dave.
Santanu-
This guy was a bartender in the Lobby on Deck 2 and the ONLY GUY WHO KNEW HOW TO MAKE A GOOD DRINK!!! (All mixed drinks were made with measured pours. For you non-bartenders out there, let me explain it in Lehman’s terms: NOT ENOUGH BOOZE). Needless to say, we befriended Santanu instantly!!
We generally visited him before dinner each night and in between visits to the club. Nice guy, always willing to offer a joke and compliment us on our appearance. Also a very hardworker behind the bar, a nice thing for three fellow liquor-pushers to see!!
The Fucking Spa -
Day one of our cruise while touring the boat, we stumbled upon the spa. Each of us had decided before the cruise that we were hoping to get a massage of some kind. Well, there was a girl outside the door offering a five-minute tour of their facilities, so we went. Stones, seaweed, clay, etc. You name it they had it. Then in the last room, we discovered the Ionitherme massage. The girl, Elizabeth, described—in a VERY thick British accent—it as a treatment that focuses mainly on eliminating cellulite from midsection on women and will help take inches off of us. Up to eight in the first treatment. That prompted "Oooooohhs" from the three of us and the other lady in our tour group. All of the massages were on sale if you signed up the first night, so Katie and I decided to do one at 8:45 p.m.
With our dinner seating at 8:15 p.m. we weren’t thrilled about it, but we did it anyway. (I had actually tried to cancel the treatment a few hours earlier, but they told me I would be charged a fee of $40!!). So, Katie and I grabbed a quick soup and salad at dinner and left poor Jackie alone with a couple from Canada (nice folks she later found out, but it was uncomfortable leaving her).
Long story short, I’m smeared with this clay stuff made of something that smelled very nice, but I couldn’t begin to remember what Elizabeth called it. Then she applied the electrodes and started zapping. OH MY GOD!!! Why did I do this to myself? I wanted to relax, not feel like I’m being electrocuted!! Zaps came every three seconds and went right into my muscles. My legs were lifted roughly three inches off the ground every time I was zapped. Elizabeth is trying to talk to me about what the treatment is doing and all I hear is "waah, blah, waah" Charlie Brown’s-teacher style.
So finally, Elizabeth turns the machine off and exclaims, "Wow!! Look at the difference!" I take a gander and I’ll tell you, I looked EXACTLY the same!! She then tries to sell me a $600, 35-day package to get rid of my cellulite!!! Can you believe this woman? She seemed really ticked off that I didn’t want to buy the products, asking me in her condescending British tone, "You don’t want to get rid of cellulite?" Yeah, lady, I do, but I should be dieting and going to a gym, not spending $600 on treatments that don’t work.
Katie was equally unimpressed and we both sulked about the waste of dough it was!! Fucking spa!!!
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Well, I think that’s about all you people can take right now. I’ll write more later. Part 2 of my boat memories to follow tomorrow!!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
Boring game+lame commercials=Bad Super Bowl.
So, with the Patriots not in the Super Bowl this year, there was little for us New Englanders to get excited about. As a Pats fan, I’m supposed to hate the Steelers. Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselback played at Boston College, so I’m supposed to root for them. But I’ve never been a follower, however.
I had special interest in Pitt because a former Marshfield High star, Sean Morey, was playing in his first Bowl. (Marshfield is one of the five towns I cover at the newspaper). This guy got into the NFL the hard way and presents such a great example to kids in the community that your dreams really can come true if you’re willing to do the work. He was drafted and then cut by the Pats the year before they went to the Super Bowl in 2001, then he played for the Eagles and was cut the year before they went to the Super Bowl in 2004. The guy has just had a really tough career but never gave up. Great guy.
Okay, enough sappiness.
So with little to no interest in the game, I was hoping the commercials would be outstanding!! This was hardly the case, however. I thought they sucked to be quite honest. I mean, that Burger King song and dance number about the Whopper was absolutely ridiculous. Then there was the one about the male robot and female monster who give birth to a Hummer!! Are you serious??
Some of the Budweiser ads were pretty good, which is to be expected, but even those weren’t all that great (streaking sheep was hysterical). Honestly, I think the promos for Desperate Housewives were the funniest ads I saw. If you watch the show, that is. These ads had famous people like Shaq, Hugh Hefner, etc. making comments about the show. Example: Hef commented on Edie’s promiscuity and couldn’t understand why she didn’t just settle down…as he’s flanked by his three girlfriends!! Funny stuff. On the whole, though, I was very disappointed.
To add insult to injury, I absolutely tanked on my squares. I had some of the best numbers you could ask for (7,7; 7,3; 4,4) and I got nothing. Would have won $50 if second quarter ended Seattle 7, Pitt 3, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I didn’t win jack, but at least Morey finally got his ring.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cruise countdown: Six days
p.s. Don’t forget to watch 24 tonight!! Gonna bore you with a recap in tomorrows blog, so you might as well prepare yourselves!!
I had special interest in Pitt because a former Marshfield High star, Sean Morey, was playing in his first Bowl. (Marshfield is one of the five towns I cover at the newspaper). This guy got into the NFL the hard way and presents such a great example to kids in the community that your dreams really can come true if you’re willing to do the work. He was drafted and then cut by the Pats the year before they went to the Super Bowl in 2001, then he played for the Eagles and was cut the year before they went to the Super Bowl in 2004. The guy has just had a really tough career but never gave up. Great guy.
Okay, enough sappiness.
So with little to no interest in the game, I was hoping the commercials would be outstanding!! This was hardly the case, however. I thought they sucked to be quite honest. I mean, that Burger King song and dance number about the Whopper was absolutely ridiculous. Then there was the one about the male robot and female monster who give birth to a Hummer!! Are you serious??
Some of the Budweiser ads were pretty good, which is to be expected, but even those weren’t all that great (streaking sheep was hysterical). Honestly, I think the promos for Desperate Housewives were the funniest ads I saw. If you watch the show, that is. These ads had famous people like Shaq, Hugh Hefner, etc. making comments about the show. Example: Hef commented on Edie’s promiscuity and couldn’t understand why she didn’t just settle down…as he’s flanked by his three girlfriends!! Funny stuff. On the whole, though, I was very disappointed.
To add insult to injury, I absolutely tanked on my squares. I had some of the best numbers you could ask for (7,7; 7,3; 4,4) and I got nothing. Would have won $50 if second quarter ended Seattle 7, Pitt 3, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I didn’t win jack, but at least Morey finally got his ring.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cruise countdown: Six days
p.s. Don’t forget to watch 24 tonight!! Gonna bore you with a recap in tomorrows blog, so you might as well prepare yourselves!!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Don't hate cuz you don't have a Mom like mine.
So I didn’t do anything particularly wild last night, but still managed to have a good time.
Went out to dinner with my Mom. Now, I know what you’re thinking, she hangs out with her Mom? Yes, I do and I’m damn proud of it!! I think more people should. In fact, I’ve never understood why more people don’t. I guess some people have it better than others in terms of Mom’s and I truly lucked out. She’s hella-cool, almost as much as me, and looks more like my older sister than the woman who gave birth to me. In short, she’s the bees-knees!! Love you, Ma!
Anyway, we went to her favorite place in Weymouth called, "Ecco." Good Italian/American food at a great price. Very nice atmosphere too. We, of course, sat at the bar because we just aren’t table people. After all, I am a bartender (best darn one in the city) and I like helping my fellow booze-pushers out, you dig? Anyway, she’s a regular — and I’ve become one through her — so we’re treated like royalty. Got to love a place where everyone knows your name. I guess that’s why Cheers was so popular.
We discussed my upcoming cruise (11 days, by the way) and her fabulous limo night (planned for Feb. 10). See how dope she is? Renting a limo with her girls and heading into Boston for a night on the town? How many other Moms you know who roll like that? Anyway, it’s just one part of her year-long celebration of her 50th birthday (July 4). Other celebration plans include: Her trip to Fort Myers for Red Sox spring break, a trip to New York to see a Sox/Yankees game in the Bronx (just where do you think I got my Sox obsession from?), and a rad bash tentatively slated for July 1.
After finishing up with Mom, I decided to head home to meet my man and watch the Boston College/Duke basketball game. (You know, what any cute 20-something girl would do!!). Game was in Boston and the scene was crazy!! Wish I could have been there, but I wasn’t exactly about to shell out $800 for a ticket. I wouldn’t pay that much for a Sox ticket (unless it was Game 4 of the 2004 WS, of course). The No. 14 Eagles played well against the No. 2 team in the country, but came up short in an 83-81 decision.
That’s about it. Working all weekend at the bar, so you probably won’t hear from me again until Monday morning. Enjoy your weekend!! Do something fun while thinking of me slaving away!!
Went out to dinner with my Mom. Now, I know what you’re thinking, she hangs out with her Mom? Yes, I do and I’m damn proud of it!! I think more people should. In fact, I’ve never understood why more people don’t. I guess some people have it better than others in terms of Mom’s and I truly lucked out. She’s hella-cool, almost as much as me, and looks more like my older sister than the woman who gave birth to me. In short, she’s the bees-knees!! Love you, Ma!
Anyway, we went to her favorite place in Weymouth called, "Ecco." Good Italian/American food at a great price. Very nice atmosphere too. We, of course, sat at the bar because we just aren’t table people. After all, I am a bartender (best darn one in the city) and I like helping my fellow booze-pushers out, you dig? Anyway, she’s a regular — and I’ve become one through her — so we’re treated like royalty. Got to love a place where everyone knows your name. I guess that’s why Cheers was so popular.
We discussed my upcoming cruise (11 days, by the way) and her fabulous limo night (planned for Feb. 10). See how dope she is? Renting a limo with her girls and heading into Boston for a night on the town? How many other Moms you know who roll like that? Anyway, it’s just one part of her year-long celebration of her 50th birthday (July 4). Other celebration plans include: Her trip to Fort Myers for Red Sox spring break, a trip to New York to see a Sox/Yankees game in the Bronx (just where do you think I got my Sox obsession from?), and a rad bash tentatively slated for July 1.
After finishing up with Mom, I decided to head home to meet my man and watch the Boston College/Duke basketball game. (You know, what any cute 20-something girl would do!!). Game was in Boston and the scene was crazy!! Wish I could have been there, but I wasn’t exactly about to shell out $800 for a ticket. I wouldn’t pay that much for a Sox ticket (unless it was Game 4 of the 2004 WS, of course). The No. 14 Eagles played well against the No. 2 team in the country, but came up short in an 83-81 decision.
That’s about it. Working all weekend at the bar, so you probably won’t hear from me again until Monday morning. Enjoy your weekend!! Do something fun while thinking of me slaving away!!
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