You're not blind, so don't act like you are!

To the woman driving the 2003 Nissan Maxima on Rt. 3 South this morning: THANKS FOR ALMOST KILLING ME!!!!!! As the character Murray from the movie Clueless once said: "I swear to God. I swear to God woman. You can't drive for sh*t!"

It’s called a blinker. Use it!
It’s called a speed limit. Heed it!
It’s called a blind spot. Look for it!

Seriously, this woman almost ran me off the road this morning. There I was driving along Rt. 3 on my way to work and things were just fine. Howard Stern was blaring through my satellite radio and had me in hysterics. The sun was shining. The weather was warming. I had my Dunkin Donuts iced coffee in hand. In short, it was an enjoyable ride…

…That is, until I took a glance at my rearview mirror and saw a speeding Maxima closing in on me. The driver, who I could see was a woman, had slowed down just a few yards before my car and proceeded to drive up my ass for a good mile and a half. (Now, I’m not one to talk about ass-riders because I am one myself, but this woman was ridiculous).

She must have had the music blaring because she appeared to be singing. She was apparently trying to dance in the car and was swerving the wheel with every move, causing her car to weave side to side. Then I look up and she’s got her arm outstretched through her moon-roof, pumping her fist rock-style.

I start thinking I really don’t want to be around this driver anymore and motion to switch lanes to let her pass, even though I couldn’t understand why she needed to go faster than 75 on a fairly congested highway. Oh, but I guess I wasn’t quick enough because as soon as my blinker went on, she was already two lanes away in the far right lane trying to pass everyone. She was slowed by a huge cement truck and slid back into the middle lane, now slightly ahead of me, still in the left lane. She was stuck behind another "slow" car and started moving into my lane!! I must have been in her blind spot because I was almost directly beside her when she moved. I swerve to the left, just inches from the barrier, and blare my horn loudly while shouting "What the f*ck are you doing?!" She fearfully swerves back into her lane and then to the far right lane to avoid being next to me when I passed her. Too bad because I DEFINITELY wanted to flip her off and cuss at her, even though she wouldn’t have been able to hear me through our closed windows!! (Don’t you just love doing that?).

Anyway, I nearly had a heart-attack and it took me a good 10 minutes to calm back down. It’s such a scary situation. It only lasted a split-second, but it was enough to put the fear of God into me thinking about what could have happened. But alas, I am alive and well…and only slightly hungover from a night of boozing and singing karaoke. Someone’s watching out for me today!