What the heck is he doing in there?

There's this guy in my office. We call him Lyle, as in Lyle Lovett.(Although, the name had more significance before the MF chopped his hairlast week, but we still like to refer to him as Lyle). His real name isMatt, but Lyle is more fun. Of course, we don't call him this to his face.

Anyway, in my new area of the office is the men's bathroom, a place Lylelikes to frequent. Seriously, he goes in there at least four times a day andthis is only the times that I see him. Who knows how many more times he goeswhen I'm gone. This isn't the basis for this post, however. It's what hedoes when he's in there. The guy makes so much freakin noise it's ridiculous. He coughs, he makesnoises like he's yaking, and right before he exits, he always makes this"I'm hacking up a luggie" noise. It's gross. His actions of course promptlaughs from the people seated outside the restroom, but then we have toforce the grins off our face when he exits.

My question is this: Does he not have any pride? Does he not realize fourpeople are sitting right outside the men's room and can hear everything he'sdoing in there? It's just plain strange. I mean office bathroom etiquette is a subject my girlfriends and I havediscussed many a time. For example, I like to exercise the following:
1) If I have to take a No. 2, I make damn sure no one else is in there. Itypically like to take care of this kind of business downstairs in thebathroom outside the advertising department then I race back upstairs beforeanyone knows it was me!!
2) Don't talk to someone when you're both on the bowl. I just don't getthose people that try to talk when you're in abutting stalls then raisetheir voices so you can hear them over their stream. It's gross.
3) Wipe down the sink area when you're finished washing your hands. Our sinkgets waterlogged for a couple of reasons. First, the geniuses who designedthe bathroom put the soap dispenser on one wall and the paper toweldispenser on the other. Second, because our kitchen is downstairs, peopleoften rinse out their Tupperware lunch containers in the sinks.
4) Always spare a square.

For the most part, women in my building seem to follow this same code ofbathroom ethics. Lyle clearly doesn't on the men's side. Not sure what to doabout it, but in the meantime, it's certainly been entertaining for us.